P.S.

hmm well some ppl seem to like that we're back together...
while others...
not so much
i don't know. it's hard to explain. blaaahhh i'm so confused. about that, and stuff
and i'm REALLLY bored. ughh
shoot me now.

OH P.S.
Much Music Dance in Rossburn this Friday, 8:00-12:00. Doors close at 9. Grades 9-12.. Be there fools.
Whatever happened to dances when they used to be awesome and "the place to be"? lol
People should go to this one and dance their socks off. Wahoo.

TOGETHER AGAIN

well hello everyone. i'm at courtnay's right now so i'll make this short.

well long story but to sum it up brett and i are back together.
yes it's been a month, long wait but i'm beyond happy.
just thought i'd fill ya'll in on that.
today's a super good day :)

have a good rest of the weekend, love you all
xox.

OK?

TOC was good. The Used were my favorite there. I don't have much to say on here about it.. But I did some shopping which was nice.. I don't know how I feel right now. Kind of happy, but sad. Blah. Crying seems to become easier, it's kind of like I'm just used to it. I'm not gonna lie, I do cry like at least three times a day now. I'm not going to go into detail, because I really don't want to.. But anyway I still have so much homework to do, yet I feel terrible and don't feel like doing it. Hopefully I sleep tonight.. I'm so incredibly glad no school on friday.. I unfortuanately have to work and drive tomorrow.. Which is going to suck so much.

But enough of my depressingness, I got to get going .. I'll talk to you all later...
Goodnight..

TOC BETCHES

leaving for winnipeg tomorrow after work ppl
taste of chaos tuesday. i'll leave a post after the concert to fill ya'll in on how rad it is

but like all i have to say is oh em gee.

i'm scared and a little worried

LEAVING ON A JET PLANE

so yea..little bit of a freak out last night..sorry about that.
but i have GREAT news today!! hehe i am SOOO effin excited!!

my mom, myles and i were talking about this summer.. and we've decided to go to Niagara Falls for a week. so we'll drive down through the states, like through Chicago and then up by Toronto. i'm just so excited cuz we've never been on a trip before lol. and Niagara Falls will be sure beautiful. the drive will be 25 hours, but it's gonna be hilarious cuz there's never a dull moment with my step dad myles.

anyway then we got talking more, and figured that next summer we're now going to fly to New York!! i'm really excited to spend that time with my mom. she's ultimately the best ever. and we'll get to go shopping and do girly stuff lol. my mom is so like a teenager sometimes, but i love her to bits.

lol i just had to share that awesome news with everyone. whoot. i'm so pumped!
love you all <3.>

OK SO A LITTLE BIT OF A BREAK DOWN..

ughhh jesus fucking christ
i am so fucking sick of life
i'm sick of myself
if i could, i would be someone else

i dont want to cry anymore.. i want to be happy and i want to smile. i want to just get over him already like he's gotten over me .. fuck sakes... uhhh

ive never felt so miserable and terrible in my whole life like i have in this past month.. i cry like five effing times every day.. i cant sleep. i need freakin sleeping pills just to have a decent sleep at night (don't worry i cant get like dependent on them, already got that checked out lol i'm not some druggy here) but really how long will this go on? cuz i seriously cannot take it anymore

i know he's happy and that's all i want.. i just want him to be happy.and if that's without me..then fine i will stay miserable without him.. but i just cant feel like this all the time..and i dont know what to do to change it.. i try going out, i try keeping busy.. i do.. but no matter how hard i try it doesn't work.. and it's not like i can just tell my heart to stop loving him. i can't just fucking tell it to!! cuz if i could then i would.. but it doesn't work. i'm sorry people if im not bubbly and happy and all that but how can i be?.. i wish it could just all go back to normal..
i've come to realize that i'll never ever get him back.. and that's what kills me the most
so i've stopped trying. i'm giving up completely on everything.


tomorrow i will most likely regret even posting this but i dont care..
i'm just sharing with you all that life is so fucking great!

FYI

well it's a snowy thursday today, and i don't work. i do tomorrow though unfortunately.
but as for today, i am going to lounge around and watch some movies

i'm really excited for next week, because it's taste of chaos!! i'm most syked to see the used.

and as for all you out there who've been asking me about new guys i'm with or telling me i should go for someone else i just want to tell you all something:

i am not interested in anyone right now. i just got out of a one year relationship, which i didn't even end, he did. so obviously i'm not over him yet. i will eventually, but right now i still want to be with him..and i need time to get over this. i can't just move onto someone new. it wouldn't be fair to that person because the whole time i was with them, i'd be wishing it was someone else (and we all know who that is). i appreciate you all for caring and trying to help me through this, but "moving onto someone new" isn't going to help me at all, it's just going to make things harder then they already are. so no, there's no one new. and no, i'm not going to go out with anyone right now either.

with that being said, i hope you all have a good spring break. i think this saturday i'm going to brandon with tyson, which should be fun. i'll talk to ya'll later. love yeah
exxoooh