ughhh jesus fucking christ
i am so fucking sick of life
i'm sick of myself
if i could, i would be someone else
i dont want to cry anymore.. i want to be happy and i want to smile. i want to just get over him already like he's gotten over me .. fuck sakes... uhhh
ive never felt so miserable and terrible in my whole life like i have in this past month.. i cry like five effing times every day.. i cant sleep. i need freakin sleeping pills just to have a decent sleep at night (don't worry i cant get like dependent on them, already got that checked out lol i'm not some druggy here) but really how long will this go on? cuz i seriously cannot take it anymore
i know he's happy and that's all i want.. i just want him to be happy.and if that's without me..then fine i will stay miserable without him.. but i just cant feel like this all the time..and i dont know what to do to change it.. i try going out, i try keeping busy.. i do.. but no matter how hard i try it doesn't work.. and it's not like i can just tell my heart to stop loving him. i can't just fucking tell it to!! cuz if i could then i would.. but it doesn't work. i'm sorry people if im not bubbly and happy and all that but how can i be?.. i wish it could just all go back to normal..
i've come to realize that i'll never ever get him back.. and that's what kills me the most
so i've stopped trying. i'm giving up completely on everything.
tomorrow i will most likely regret even posting this but i dont care..
i'm just sharing with you all that life is so fucking great!
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5 comments:
hey teags i know what your saying here! if you ever need to chat im here and some of what your saying i understand actually i understand it all! well i hope things work out for you hunn! well anyways love you tons <33 kisses
Mel <33
write down how your feeling in a diary, write everything in there and get it all out. and then read it over sometimes, it helped me get over my last relationship. but it takes time, and noone can do anything to change that, you just gotta keep on trying, keep busy, hang out with your friends, and even hang out with him. cause it will all help you get over it, just dont ruin the friendship you have with him because once your over him as a guy, and hes not there as a friend its still gonna hurt. so just remember that there are people out there who care and love you no matter what, and that they always will. and the guy who is worth your tears wont make you cry. i hope everything works out for you.
and im sorry but i dont want to leave my name. so once again;
ANONYMOUS
you're so right that you can't make yourself stop loving him, but it'll come. each day will get a little easier and eventually seeing him won't hurt anymore. you're always going to love him, it'll just be a different type of love.
i know it sounds like a bunch of crap, but take it from someone who's been there, it's gonna hurt for a little while and then one day you'll look back on it all and say "wow, it wasn't as bad as i thought".
you'll be stronger because of it believe me!
much love hun!
-anonymous 2
Hey there, you don't know me but I came across your blog by accident and I must say you really sound hurt. Hold on girl. Don't let him get you down. Be strong. Your seperation could have been worse. Like death for instance. No one had the right to hurt you unless you let them. Remember that. You have the potential to be a very strong individual. Gandhi once said that "People who don't forgive are weak, it takes a strong person to forgive" Sometimes we need guidance, even from an individual out of the box. That is the best kind.
wow thats deep
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